Yahoo Me
by Trixxification
Summary: Sharon didn't know anyone whose surname started with an 'I'. Or, at least, anyone whose surname would come between 'Hobbs' and 'Johnson' in an alphabetically-ordered Yahoo contact list. And that's how she accidentally sent a dirty instant message to DDA Hobbs. A Brenda/Sharon fic. Written for FrakkingBlerg on Tumblr.
1. Co-conspirators

Sharon didn't know anyone whose surname started with an 'I'. Or, at least, anyone whose surname would come between 'Hobbs' and 'Johnson' in an alphabetically-ordered Yahoo contact list. And that's how she accidentally sent a dirty instant message to DDA Hobbs.

She hadn't realised it at the time. Sitting in her office in Major Crimes, dealing with another hissy-fit courtesy of Lieutenant Provenza, she'd decided she needed to have some fun. And what could be more fun than sending a dirty message to her girlfriend? Texting it was out of the question, her phone _technically _belonged to the LAPD, and thanks to her propensity for rules she had no intention of sending such a personal message via phone. So she'd resorted to Yahoo. She'd thought long and hard about what to write, and eventually settled on outlining, in great detail, the date she wanted to take Brenda on during the weekend – ending in a highly specific explanation of the evening they would spend in bed.

When she'd returned from the bathroom break she'd taken just after hitting send, Sharon was disappointed to find no message, missed call or even text from Brenda. Curious, she checked her Yahoo again.

She blanched.

There was a reply waiting for her. But not from Brenda. The flashing icon on her screen told her she had one message waiting – from DDA Andrea Hobbs. She prayed to the God she wasn't so sure she believed in that it was just a coincidence.

It wasn't.

With a stammering heart, she opened the reply.

_DDA_Hobbs:__ Although that message was rather forward of you, I appreciate your bluntness nonetheless. I had no idea you felt the same way! Would this weekend suit you? I have a few amendments I can make to that plan of yours ;-)_

Taking the deepest breath she possibly could, Sharon leaned back into her chair, her hands running through the thick locks on her head. She was doomed. How was she going to let Andrea down? Before she truly had time to come up with a decent plan, she noticed a whirlwind of blonde hurtling toward her office door.

A wide-mouthed grin and cocked head accompanied Brenda through the door. Apparently she actually took lunch breaks in her new job.

"What's this I hear about you and DDA Hobbs, Cap'n?" Brenda was relishing her girlfriend's faux pas. It wasn't often the Captain did things that were so risqué.

Sharon's face was magenta. Finding herself at a loss for words, the brunette could do nothing but bury her face in her hands. Feeling sympathy for her girlfriend's distress, the younger woman rounded the desk, leaned against the desk and clasped her girlfriend's hands in her own.

"Oh, honey. Don't worry about it! You wanna know a secret?"

Sharon raised one thin eyebrow, slightly incredulous that the blonde had the nerve to change the subject.

"Brenda Leigh, I don't think now is the time for goss-"

"Hey now, hang on. It's okay. Andrea knows about us. That's why she came to me as soon as she got your message. She's just messin' with you."

She couldn't believe it. Part of her was irked that the blonde had decided to break their rule about keeping their relationship under wraps for the time being. Another part of her was relieved that she hadn't just made the mistake she thought she had. And with every fibre of her being she was pissed that Andrea would be so cruel to her.

Sensing the Captain's mood, the blonde found a way to alleviate her girlfriend's distress.

"I have an idea, baby. Andrea doesn't know that you know that she knows," she furrowed her brow, trying to determine if her sentence made sense. After a slight pause, she continued, "Right now, she thinks you're thinkin' of cheatin' on me. So, maybe we should send her a 'lil somethin' right back?"

Sharon's wicked grin mirrored that of her girlfriend. The younger woman moved off the desk, choosing instead to sit gently on her girlfriend's lap. For a few brief seconds the brunette nuzzled her face into the woman's neck, before turning to the task at hand. Opening the instant messenger again, Sharon's hands hovered over the keyboard, ready to type. With guidance from her girlfriend, they launched their attack.

_Captain_Raydor:__ Not at all! This weekend is fine. I could pick you up Saturday afternoon if you like? I'm certainly looking forward to your . . . 'input' :p_

After hitting send, the two co-conspirators sat giggling, burying their faces in one another's neck. Revenge would be sweet.


	2. Revenge

Andrea paced back and forth in front of her door, waiting impatiently for Sharon to pick her up. She hadn't ever intended for it to go this far. When she'd agreed to date Sharon, she had thought the captain was kidding. Apparently not – because now she was a nervous wreck, trying to think of how to reject the brunette gently and to apologise to Brenda for stealing her girlfriend. If she didn't know any better, she'd think she was back in high school.

Sharon stood in her walk-in closet, towel wrapped tightly around her body. What exactly did one wear to a joke-date? She felt arms snake around her waist and a head fall to her shoulder. Brenda.

"You figured out what to wear yet?" She ended her sentence with a kiss to Sharon's neck.

The captain gently moved Brenda's hands from around her waist and turned to face her girlfriend.

"Do I look dressed, Brenda Leigh?" her trademark smirk belied her anger.

Brenda smiled, rolling her eyes at Sharon. "Alright, smartass. Get some clothes on so we can scare the hell outta Andrea."

Sharon's eyes travelled down Brenda's body, taking in her soft-wash jeans and oversized sweater. Casual clothing it was. She raised an eyebrow as she slowly dropped her towel, relishing the dilation of her girlfriend's pupils. Turning around again, she reached for her most comfortable jeans and a button down shirt. As much as she was looking forward to giving Andrea a taste of her own medicine, she was especially excited about the rest of the night she would be spending with Brenda.

* * *

Andrea could hear an engine revving down then noticed the unmistakable sound of a car pulling in to her driveway. Her palms sweat uncontrollably – it was now or never. What was she going to do? A sharp rap sounded at the door and she wiped her hands down the front of her jeans. Time to bite the bullet.

"Surprise!" Standing in front of her was Sharon Raydor – complete with girlfriend attached to her arm. She'd been had. Her own trick had been turned on her.

"We bought wine an' chocolate, Sharon's gonna make us dinner an' I chose us a couple'a chick flicks for the night."

Smiling with relief, the attorney welcomed her friends in to her house. She got the distinct feeling that come next April 1st, she'd be avoiding these two women like the plague.


End file.
